The CSN aftermarth and the BOOK

I was a very active member on CSN colorectal, I nolonger am, its the conventional versus non conventional where the old members seek to protect and educate the newbies. I was surprised by the intensity of my emotions still, alas I cared so much for the 100s of colorectals visiting that forum. they are sold a death sentence, and denied knowledge of a curative solution. I dont have the political skills or the desire or the energy to invest there any more.

I sent this in a personal message to an old friend who questioned the words in my latest postcard, which in a sense is the best news that csn has ever had. here is an immunotherapy success the first, the patient has been humiliated and runoff the board. Sometimes you got to cut your losses and quit. thats what i have done. I removed all the identifying info, the sentiments express where I am at. So msny lives are going to be lost and i am powerless. Now I have accepted that, i can get over it. the book, the book, the book. its the way to go for me. If I write it and I stay clear then it will really be a story worth telling, if its not already. then maybe a life or two might be spared.

Maybe I should sit down and write the book, its about time. but first the family, i should write the book on the diving island holiday, i want come back until its finished.

The reality of how ineffectual my amazing cure is, has been difficult to accept. theconventionals stick to the oncologists standard of care and die, the non conventionals will not try someone elses successful therapy they insist on endlessly searching, completely missing the theraputic opportunities before them, alas this cancer maze is one tragic mess. I just did not realise its patients personalities thats the main barrier to healing not the medical science. I have to work this most important point into the presentation at the gcmaf conference.

thanks, i know you care for me, for us all, i appreciate your words, i guess you call it needless, to me it felt needed. my blood is still boiling and i think you know why. 

i have a curative path and itsbeing completely ignored and rubbished by all the most senior members of colorectal csn, thats fine, its out of my control, 

I accept that the slaughter and suffering in conventional colorectal treatment centers will continue, i simply cannot witness the loss first hand. even the few following in my footsteps have already stuffed up per my experience, i hope they pull through but chemo kills, not the cancer.

soi am not active here, and to be honest i am much happier for the separation. i had not realised what n emotional drain csn wason me, so alot of good has come out of the blow up.

whats been written, many very hurtful and really defamatory words, well they reflect on the authors more than me. when the ketogenic diet or its derivative becomes the standard of care, i'll have a tear, that none of the oldest members of the board watched the ketogenic videos or lectures and could offer a sensible comment. 

I am just being authentic, I have been deeply hurt, i am getting over it, my naive dreams of saving many with a few simple holistic and medical therapies slips off the radar. and more posts about chemo side effects and progression and the inevitable deaths, even the sick and dieing leave the board to die alone and to not show the true nature of our illness. in many ways the ultimate disservice, denying fellow patients the likely end result. that clear knowledge is what motivated me to find a cure beyond chemo.

One serious question "what right do these  OLD MEMBERs to try and dissaude NEW MEMBER for that matter, the old members protecting the new from trying a diet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBjnWfT8HbQ i have watched this about 5 times, each time learning something new.

my metastatic illness is almost gone, gone without systemic chemo, i have hope of a lengthy remission, the ketogenic diet a safe bet.

you guys criticised me for my expensive treatments, i propose a diet thats a real cheap therapy and i am still attacked.

so one or two more postcards, a month apart and that will be it. theresalot of blood on peoples hands and its not mine.

the knowledge is out there for a curative solution, maybe I am just lucky or smart or a combination of both. buti am convinced my

healing path is reproducible and beneficial ( if not curative ).

you guys can go reinvent the wheel, if you can. even a clever biochemist has made a number of mistakes. soi watch and learn here and get educated about human nature and therapies which are the real barriers to healing not the medical science.

this is not directed at you, its directed at the universe, its how i feel having an effective curative path thats been ridiculed and ignored.

so after all that, i agree my rankor is needless and serves no purpose, except to remind the guilty of the blood on their hands.

its not my blood, its not there blood, its the blood of the newbies who might have been brave enough to try immunotherapies first, but belonging to this group will squash that option and any hope of an immunotherapy based cure. those who have engaged in long term chemo well for most their fate has been sealed after the first three months or so.