A pray for Maxy and my wonderful friend, ceatinine, rfa preadmission

A great 8 hour healing sleep, that helps the body to heal from chemo. I am reading alpha lipoic book lent to me by my compassionate alt doc, I cannot put it down. I have learnt so much that i forgot, the book a good refresher.

What helps me sleep is my 20mg melatonin and the lovely long night walk with wife and dogs. I have the funding problems solved almost. Its easy to agree to any requests when you need money to save your life. Ultimately, we all have to take personal responsibility for our decisions.

So now its a loan, so i will be very frugal, if i was not already.

The only luxury I need is a pain free, healthy, breathe in a tumour free body under a tree by the sea. Which i have in my vivid dreams and almost in reality. I can taste it.

I have applied for a lease on a home the wife and kids love, just around the corner.

One moment diarrhea the next constipation, i love the effects of my first irenotecan systemic chemo.
To fix the blockages, an enema at mcdonalds enroute to the city and all is well.
Prof vogl has taced me with it 12 times previously all based on rgcc chemo sensitivity. He also used mitomycin and avastin.

This morning I had pre admission for next weeks rfa's a few hours at the hospital, all good.

Some friends get good news and others bad news. I am seeking to accept all news as just news and let my state of joy not to be determined by external events. Just the waves on the surface of the ocean don't reach to the depths. Of course I have been bursting with joy, even recently when my cea was stable week to week while on the b17, dmso and gcmaf. 

I just desire for all my friends that read my blog to have a perspective on cancer progression that does not cause fear or anxiety but somehow can be channelled into focus and action. maybe with acceptance and peace. If my time comes for this news that my death is coming I pray I can put this approach into action in my life. Of course I suggest Germany to all my friends.

Now I have been travelling, stopped my weekly weight lifting, possibly lost a little focus on diet.that focus was heavy ketosis not protein absorption.

I stated earlier, I think I have lost a kilo or 2 in a month, i have stopped doing pushups and squats also. I have not been having my whey proteins. So many factors that may have contributed to the muscle loss.

its really tricky to assess the precise muscle i have as i am travelling so much, its not really a focus for any of the german doctors, of course they would all say keep your muscle. butits getting the clinical support , to have the focus on muscle, as well as so many other biological parameters. as you know my focus in the last few months has been yoga and meditation. no gym at the ashram, and they have the vegan diet, which lets be honest makes gaining weight, keeping muscle more difficult, not impossible but difficult.

gaining muscle is a key prognostic indicator, drgreg and asir at hallwang reinforaced this, so many other doctors and advisors as well, and all my research. muscle was the parameter to guide my implementation of the ketogenic diet, still in many ways the weekly bloods i think essential and the detailed measurements of muscle mass, weight and designing the ultimate anti cancer recovery package is just a very distant dream. i do as good a job as i can, i share my success and failures. but is my muscle loss a failure, not really it just highlights the challenge. the worlds best cancer clinic will need to address this as well. every metastatic success should come out in remission and ripped. its another nice dream.

getting the cancer cells managed, means i have time to workout and relax and heal. so many focuses on this metastatic healing journey. 

to look the best you ever have, to make even the smallest improvements week to week. well its a powerful motivator. having an improving self image fuels hope thats whats visible on the outside is being mirrored in the inside. maybe as the muscle grows ever so slightly so the tumour, the mets shrink. THATs POWERFUL, THATSWHATS HAPPENING IN ME, and maybe the converse is true, muscle loss, means tumour growth. maybethats happened in the last month. for me it might reflect the focus i give the wife and children and not my health and not addressing the illness. I just get this tumour growth, ie markers rising whenever i have returned. i have commented on this many times. this repeated experience underlies why i am seeking the funds for a extended stay in germany to stay in remission. 

Although a high protein diet may increase creatinine levels, the effects of which may be efficiently handled by healthy kidneys, it is crucial to be aware of the implications presented by a diet which is not only high in protein, but also low in carbohydrates; such as those promoted to induce rapid weight loss. According to experts at the National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology, a high protein, low carbohydrate, or ketogenic, diet increases your risk of hypofibrinolysis, which can cause blood clots. Medline Plus states that a diet high in meat protein may increase cholesterol levels and contribute to gout, with its typical symptoms of hot, red, swollen joints.

well b17,dmso, gcmaf is working and my alt doctor could get into big trouble because my disease is stable without chemno, thats the truth. one day we will look back and cry. i have said this before. all we can do is try. whats the truth, lets say all are truths are unique, our illnesses unique. somehow the same gold standard is the best solution NOT. the only winner is government and drug companies and conventional doctors, the loosers the patients. 

the truth i present is we cannot afford personalised medicine and the cancer causing western societies we live in. its just to much for a politican to handle. maybei will go into politics. I a billionaire can, maybe i can. i could do the first coffee enema in parliament house.