still a bit of pain after the port install, I met some very nice nurses and doctors at saint george private hospital. we talked about immunofriendly anethetics, personalised anethetics is where all the conferences are talking. Have a pre op consult with the anethetistist.
I am feeling decidely mortal and my immortal confidence is wanning. not really but I know I am severely challenged again, the markers are climbing, all sorts, the therapies are not working at present. Lucky I like a challenge and that the closer I get to death, the beauty I see in this life.
tonght a small miracle, we had dinner on the kitchen counter, this is the first time its been cleaned since january, my girl is trying to tackle her deamons. alas I have to tackle mine, we are precious little help to each other. In 2 weeks I am on a plane back to germany. I am sick of trying to get leading edge care out of our completely scewed system, they wont infuse hepamertz, enough said. what a backard arrogant little island we are, alas with its medical head up our ass. its going to kill me, not this dam , illness so back to germany.
alas I dont have my visa sorted yet, to many medial appointments, surgeries and procedures.
saw ashley berry, austrlalia best int gp, I am burnign muscle FFFK, all that work in the gym, the curse of cimetidine side effects re protein absorption. I have to watch all these things myself, even hallwang does not stay onto of these details. ashley is so good, doing 24 minerals/ metals with iodine challenge tomorrow.
I noticed from the bloods today, the exceptional status of my immune system on sept 2012, how interesting for the removab results. noone has explained the success and the failure I have had yet, I will, but I have to focus all my energy on healing, treatment and exercise.
I really need to put the genie back in the bottle.
likely flying down friday hobart to do fullbody hyperthermia, hopefully some hardcore systemic chemo as foreplay for the hyperthermia. waiting on kopic's assessment.
I need a full time medical assistant to off load the stress of all these really important issues I have to deal with, alas I have me.
doing vit c tomorrow, its so great being back under ashley's care.
so the challenge with high crp, well I got a target to fix, using high dose krill, fish, flaxoil and lyprinol. its good to have a challenge. no ozone in oz, I shoudl have bought that machine home, only 5000 euro.
tonight the kids had the hot water bottles filled, its good to be here and do the little things. I also made the kids stack the dishwasher and clean the table. now that we have a table to eat off. Its a start.
tomorrow victor a friend arrives to help ellie start sorting her paperwork. codeword for mess.
and I will just live joyfully with all these amazing challenges going on around me in my life. I missed my dear friend dave and dean who visited, I was asleep, post operation recovery still. I was fondly remembering all my friends, especially those who have died from cancer tongight. the longer I live, the more of them their are, their memories evoke such a deep admiration. I am so glad they are at peace, the ultimate challenge for us all is to live joyfully in this very wonderful but challenging life. For me its easy, my kids just smile at me and I am happy. keith wants some lego engines, mel wants to watch her favourite TV. they are great kids and ellie is wonderful despite her habit of collecting stuff.
on a serious note , i asked to her to sell our inner city home, I need the extra million yesterday, I have therapy plans and I need a fulltime nurse and assistant for the next few months. she said no. so its dovorce for me to get the funds to fight, she will still have 7 other inner city properties. maybe she is putting money ahead of my health, not surprising really, she has done the same to herself her entire life. I want have this fight now, but its looming. In a different world she would have said, "yes darling, leave it to me, the kids and I will be with you, and I will help however I can." but alas that is delusional longing on my part. On the positive ellie was wonderful taking me to the hospital 6am and picking me up, its not the caring, just the sharing. the sharing of the money that is. if I die she still gets millions and millions. just one million for pete, I think she will come around, I hope so.
what I know for certain is that german medicine saved my ass once, and I am going to give them a shot at it again. I have no sense of personalised aggressive therapies happening in sydney. of course that could change with my super surgeon morris and now prof borodie. but time will tell. can I risk my only shot at life to these wonderful aussie doctors, alas they are trapped within our medical system. whih way to jump ?
I will sleep on it, its still a privilege to have all these treatment options. I also had a chat today to mark who is running my business, he has done such an amazing job, without him I would be so stressed. when I get through this, I will be paying friends and strangers back for the rest of my life. At lunch yesterday I told my dearest freinds to loose 100 kilograms between them before I come back to sydney in 3 months, that I could not recommend cancer as a lifestyle choice. at least they were nicely warned in my typical loving but straight way. its ironic that my gain in health seems to be offset by my friends weight gain.
I also met a wonderful school friend mum at church, another breast cancer recurrence, maybe I can help her, see has my number, I cannot push. but the clocks ticking and the german magic well, you just have to try!!!!
maybe that the real magic, simply trying! not dying as I have said so many times before.
And the best news, I am getting compound 1 and 2 from my dear friend peter menzies, he is a life saver, given I stuffed my maf 314 compounds whiling trying to help others at hallwang. these compounds are priceless, as you cannot buy them anymore, I hope ellie, lizbeth will do better this time. I start reculturing tomorrow, can maf314 help save the day. I have a lot of faith in the maf314, its science and ruggerio, and in david noakes from gcmaf eu. more solid science would be nice, but I will take what i have got.
can I build a life saving yogurt tree, it failed the first time, but I never give up, this time for sure! somehow I have to get the yogurt back to germany.
I am feeling decidely mortal and my immortal confidence is wanning. not really but I know I am severely challenged again, the markers are climbing, all sorts, the therapies are not working at present. Lucky I like a challenge and that the closer I get to death, the beauty I see in this life.
tonght a small miracle, we had dinner on the kitchen counter, this is the first time its been cleaned since january, my girl is trying to tackle her deamons. alas I have to tackle mine, we are precious little help to each other. In 2 weeks I am on a plane back to germany. I am sick of trying to get leading edge care out of our completely scewed system, they wont infuse hepamertz, enough said. what a backard arrogant little island we are, alas with its medical head up our ass. its going to kill me, not this dam , illness so back to germany.
alas I dont have my visa sorted yet, to many medial appointments, surgeries and procedures.
saw ashley berry, austrlalia best int gp, I am burnign muscle FFFK, all that work in the gym, the curse of cimetidine side effects re protein absorption. I have to watch all these things myself, even hallwang does not stay onto of these details. ashley is so good, doing 24 minerals/ metals with iodine challenge tomorrow.
I noticed from the bloods today, the exceptional status of my immune system on sept 2012, how interesting for the removab results. noone has explained the success and the failure I have had yet, I will, but I have to focus all my energy on healing, treatment and exercise.
I really need to put the genie back in the bottle.
likely flying down friday hobart to do fullbody hyperthermia, hopefully some hardcore systemic chemo as foreplay for the hyperthermia. waiting on kopic's assessment.
I need a full time medical assistant to off load the stress of all these really important issues I have to deal with, alas I have me.
doing vit c tomorrow, its so great being back under ashley's care.
so the challenge with high crp, well I got a target to fix, using high dose krill, fish, flaxoil and lyprinol. its good to have a challenge. no ozone in oz, I shoudl have bought that machine home, only 5000 euro.
tonight the kids had the hot water bottles filled, its good to be here and do the little things. I also made the kids stack the dishwasher and clean the table. now that we have a table to eat off. Its a start.
tomorrow victor a friend arrives to help ellie start sorting her paperwork. codeword for mess.
and I will just live joyfully with all these amazing challenges going on around me in my life. I missed my dear friend dave and dean who visited, I was asleep, post operation recovery still. I was fondly remembering all my friends, especially those who have died from cancer tongight. the longer I live, the more of them their are, their memories evoke such a deep admiration. I am so glad they are at peace, the ultimate challenge for us all is to live joyfully in this very wonderful but challenging life. For me its easy, my kids just smile at me and I am happy. keith wants some lego engines, mel wants to watch her favourite TV. they are great kids and ellie is wonderful despite her habit of collecting stuff.
on a serious note , i asked to her to sell our inner city home, I need the extra million yesterday, I have therapy plans and I need a fulltime nurse and assistant for the next few months. she said no. so its dovorce for me to get the funds to fight, she will still have 7 other inner city properties. maybe she is putting money ahead of my health, not surprising really, she has done the same to herself her entire life. I want have this fight now, but its looming. In a different world she would have said, "yes darling, leave it to me, the kids and I will be with you, and I will help however I can." but alas that is delusional longing on my part. On the positive ellie was wonderful taking me to the hospital 6am and picking me up, its not the caring, just the sharing. the sharing of the money that is. if I die she still gets millions and millions. just one million for pete, I think she will come around, I hope so.
what I know for certain is that german medicine saved my ass once, and I am going to give them a shot at it again. I have no sense of personalised aggressive therapies happening in sydney. of course that could change with my super surgeon morris and now prof borodie. but time will tell. can I risk my only shot at life to these wonderful aussie doctors, alas they are trapped within our medical system. whih way to jump ?
I will sleep on it, its still a privilege to have all these treatment options. I also had a chat today to mark who is running my business, he has done such an amazing job, without him I would be so stressed. when I get through this, I will be paying friends and strangers back for the rest of my life. At lunch yesterday I told my dearest freinds to loose 100 kilograms between them before I come back to sydney in 3 months, that I could not recommend cancer as a lifestyle choice. at least they were nicely warned in my typical loving but straight way. its ironic that my gain in health seems to be offset by my friends weight gain.
I also met a wonderful school friend mum at church, another breast cancer recurrence, maybe I can help her, see has my number, I cannot push. but the clocks ticking and the german magic well, you just have to try!!!!
maybe that the real magic, simply trying! not dying as I have said so many times before.
And the best news, I am getting compound 1 and 2 from my dear friend peter menzies, he is a life saver, given I stuffed my maf 314 compounds whiling trying to help others at hallwang. these compounds are priceless, as you cannot buy them anymore, I hope ellie, lizbeth will do better this time. I start reculturing tomorrow, can maf314 help save the day. I have a lot of faith in the maf314, its science and ruggerio, and in david noakes from gcmaf eu. more solid science would be nice, but I will take what i have got.
can I build a life saving yogurt tree, it failed the first time, but I never give up, this time for sure! somehow I have to get the yogurt back to germany.