IM ON THE COMPUTER
I want to start the trayhurn report, but its just a dream!
pet scan 20th april the state of the illness and these blogs the state of my delusional joy!
So many of my friends with stage 4 think im crazy, well I am and I suspect thats the essential ingredient of my miracle. Complete and utter insanity. I believe my cancer is completely curable!!!!!
So the world is nuts and I am smart. time will tell, it settles even the most heated debates between us mere mortals.
An email to a brilliant aussie surgeon
The pet scan cd is being sent to prof XXXX, i got an opinion from another liver surgeon that this could not be done laprascopic, ie I wanted a tumour sample for the regenex vaccine trial. but many uncertainties around even getting consent for the vaccine. its had to justify when i have viable options on the table.
So I will be coming up for discussion at a review meeting, im focused using conventional and experimental to maximise survival. Still a clear peritoneal cavity, and treatable liver disease and lung.
focusing exosomal stems cell using pacitaxel nanoparticle.
should be fun, if i dont die!
alas the best thing about my desperate requests is that Im alive.
Dr Weir vaccine technology has much promise and I really wanted a sample!
Wishing you and your patients all the best!
Cheers,
An email to a very brilliant scientist
I missed your reply in my blissful state, my cea topped 1200 six months ago, last was 23, temp today 36.60 up from 36.56 up from 36.50
but i walked 50 km in 24 hours during this
give me a call mate while im in aussie mode. im of to the biggest immunotherapy conference, see yesterdays blog
come over to the brightside, as alas downunder is the darkside and this is a just pathetic starwars joke if it were not really true
0411527660
im not treating my temp patterns but watching them in awe, as these basal temperatures tell one part of the story thats my miracle.
I WROTE BELOW A FEW WEEKS AGO
So today the longest walk home from Hurstville shopping centre I was a little bit inspired as I approached a local supermarket which is about halfway I called my wife and said can I buy something nice for you and for the kids tonight
I'm so aware that while I'm alive I can do nice things for those I love and that when we die we are only a memory in those who we did love
THE POINT OF THE ABOVE
Well i did a 122 laps well over the sutherland shire relay for life marathon thats is 106 laps over 24 hours, to have been so weak and now so strong. The walk home above about 4kms and would take me an hour. Its the rate of our healing, my improvement, its the deepth of our feeling. this awareness fuels my awe at gods grandest miracle YOU, me and us all. We are truly such miraculous creatures.
I stress the difference between physical and spiritual weakness and strength.
How can you not be full of joy when you see the potential everywhere. I do! So my joyful disposition and the methadone and the mariuanna oil ( under doctors guiadance and metavectum tumour analysis )
While I was walking the endless walk, the 24 hours non stop, but i had a long dinner, i had 5 massages and many stops for drinks during the marathon. My family slept as I stepped all night. My son and wife in our camper and my daughter in her new hiking tent. I felt carried by my friends love, many of them angels now, so a did not walk painful step after painful step, i just floated around the track lap after lap.
My nerve damaged feet offered such a massive advantage, no pain in feet and big blister. Over the night I kept my slow pace, maybe i even got faster as the walking repition may have helped my nerve damage
I met amazing people during my relay, and during the night i was touched by those who would come to me and I would smile my smile with a hidden tear. We all need love and recognition. like in yesterdays rerum question. Like the admiration from strangers. but they are not strangers, they have been touched by gods greatness and they see it in my miracle. they have no clue about my suffering or miracle. its simple I walk with joy and my blissful smile says it all. I am alive.
I met a wonderful pair of teenage girls who could not believe my stories. our kids need messages of hope in abundance to crowd out all the negativity around us, thats extinguishers humanities fire when all that exists is the first glimmer of potential. I see such potential in the young and I cringe at the messages our society is giving them. alas simple real human love, care and respect are not fashionable. Still I model my beliefs for my kids and friends ( thats you ) .
my son and daughter helped me, we held hands, we talked. they slept.
I denied myself healing sleep to prove a point straight after tony robbins seminars, we can take massive action, that we may think impossible, ill advised, but by following that inner voice, well we tap our inner strength.
I glided effortlessly step after step, breathe after breathe. the half moon was cool, the dawn brillant and the rain refreshing.
CAN YOU READ BETWEEN THE LINES, THIS IS TO A TOP HIPEC SURGEON
I just ordered a copy of the petscan cd for you, expect it in the mail from rpa.
I feeling great, just did a marathon. Ive still got some disease to fix, but day by day.
Im flying 10th may back 1 july, but could return sooner if effective options. May I call you from germany when you have discussed my current disease.
It seems the met in the liver needs full resection and im against that as I want to reduce pro angiogenic factors with my systemic disease.
But prof vogl has offered to rfa the liver spot, and tace the lungs with chemo , cellular and immunotherapy.
Its taken me 5 months to recover from crippling side effects pd1 antibodies. Im at 90% normal, if I ever was, the enduring nature of the nerve damage shows the brutal side of immunotherapy induced nerve damage hence my increasing desire for effective and timely surgical options.
take care of yourself and all your patients and thanks.
SURVIVAL TIP NUMBER 1 - NEVER BURN BRIDGES JUST BUILD PARTNERSHIPS
I say build not burn.
Now we unfairly describe convnetional as slash, burn and poison, ie operate, radiotherapy and chemo therapy. So for my survival Im a big fan of very selective and well timed conventional offerings but in a alternative and experimental strategy.
SO MAYBE FOOLS CRY AND HEROES TRY now I do both, we are all part hero and part fool, when we see this, well then we just try to be more hero than fool. Its ironic that whats perceived as my most foolish experiments may indeed be my most heroic and successful. time reveals all and hides as well. Irony after paradox after irony.
How big is your vision for humanity ? so yesterday unleash the power of the universe within, but whats screams at me is the universe without. The synergy of combined passion, that we glimpse in love!
Humanity has just crawled out of the mud, we have so far to go!!!! the sky , no the stars are the limit of our limitless impossible dreams. Our kids have the best opportunities before them! and how do we prepare them.
model love!