So my dream trip to the ashram will have to be next weekend, I could not get out of my current accommodation and I cannot afford to waste 2 nights. The internet is turned off by the landlord at random times to save money or downloads, its been turned back on. I am online again and can look for other accommodation. Where I am is basic but lets say not uplifting for the soul. Its a ground floor apartment thats been fitted out for travellers, the owner lives in a shoebox next to me. I am surrounded by factories. Next door the wellness center turns out to be a brothel with very attractive girls. They do normal massage as well, this kind and beautiful lady ushered me into a room and all I wanted was a price for a normal massage. She explained an amazing range of massages, and never the prices. It was pointless to tell her about all the reasons why I said "No thank you". I noticed the security entrance, and being escorted into a fantasy room with a stunning girl. I would give these girls 10 out of 10 for making and attempting to convert every sales enquiry.
This experience gives the ever expanding wellness sector an entire new dimension, that in some senses makes sense. Its just it was not what I was expecting, and I dont think they are used to men just asking and leaving. I did not explain the side effects of cimetidine, the 2000 euro I paid for the last few IPTs at Dr Siebenhueners and that every cent is need for medical treatment. I did not explain my beautiful wife back in Sydney or the kids and that it would be very foolish to throw away 20 years of being a loyal and faithful husband in what maybe the closing stages of my life. You see I am accutely awere now that when the money runs out , most of the key medical services stop, and the tumour grows and I die.
The tragedy that these innovative services are not available in Sydney, or in a town near you is heart breaking. But thats the reality, and for what I can see these breakthoughs will never be coming, our medical systems are just too fixed in there ways. They are massive and unaccomodating. My success, these therapies, are just like a mosquito that a giant squashes without ever realising what he has done. In the slap that so promptly sent the mosquito into heaven, all the other mosquitos were condemed to the status quo, the standard of care. There fates fixed as if in concrete as the wheels of the system move slowly offering morphin and palliative care solutions to an ever increasing multitude/ The size of the multitude condeming our morally corrupt and bankupt healths systems to be forever judged for the abject failures that they are. Still the few hopeful fools, myself included, well we carry on believing in life and miracles and reform while my money lasts the dream continues.
So for love, for ethics and to save embassement its so easy to say a polite "no thanks" to this current invitation. I did not mention it previously, but it fits into to this aspect of ethics and healing. The other night I had a 1 hour thai massage. I had been there before in November. Well this absolutely stunning young thai lady, says "take off your underwhere ?" now this is very unusual i traditional thai massages from my experience. But I go with the flow. I get a reasonable relaxing thai massage, not the bone brunching, muscle stretching I need or enjoy. Nethertheless I was grateful for the stress release. Again towards the end of the massage she wishpers "would you like something extra ?" Now I politely say no thank you" , but my mind races to all the medical expenses coming up and the perilous nature of my existence. The extra I really needed was a 2 hour massage, not the 1 hour and a really genuine thai workout, not what I got.
My obsession with massage, I think was started by the stories of Ruth Galwer who explained how instrumental it was in Ian Gawlers recovery from cancer all those years ago. I have found massage to be so beneficial for my soul, it especially somehow meets the human need to be touched and cared for, none of the doctors will believe these factors essential for healing, but I do. I the worlds best immunotherapy clinic I will have daily TRADITIONAL THAI massage with no extras.
I am secretly so relieved that noone besides my dear departed Ren, Dave, Phil and Ted have been influenced by my blog. I can see the success I have enjoyed, no matter how fleeting in many senses is cruel. I dont have any stand out successes besides me, I am here alone in the peaceful solitude of this dingy ground floor apartment, next to the wellness center. Kind of trapped here because the internet is not working, so I cannot find alternative accomodation easily.
I really do apologise for the incompleteness of the blog, in the sense I present honestly the therapies, the costs and the experiences. My thoughts , my research. What I have I think withheld is the very real difficulties of daily life, of extending car hir, of finding accomodation, of arranging therapies, of by organic food, of even using the internet. Why today I have spent hours attempting to upload 500mb DVD archive of the last 3 visits to professor vogl. The images include MRI and CAT. Prof Rolle has requested these last Monday. I had to get them from Prof vogl, he was closed one time I tried. Every single step has been frustrating, the DVD would not load on my old computer. For some reason now it is. Just imagine that every single thing I attempt is full of constant small hurdles and challenges, from being asked for "exrtras" to trying to upload essential medical information on a computer thats not cooperating over an internet connection that my landlord turns of to save him money, that in some ways frustrates my chance at saving my life.
So I share these difficulties so that any RATs coming to germany, will know the true score. Like I attended the GCMAF clinic, relying on there written promised guarantee. I had no response and requested a refund and was basically told to piss of and die. thats how it left me feeling. I need those 3000 euros for therapies that work, that deliver measurable results. So then I have to dispute that payment and see how the banks sort out our dispute. But do you see, all the stresses. Every single day is full of challenging issues, living in Germany, that where the clinics are so helpful, but the cost such alot. In many sense they also deliver alot less, because you are a prisoner to there amazing but limited offerings.
So I have relief that I am struggling alone here in Germany, I am bouyed by the fact I have achieved what I class as miraculous results, I take so much pride in my healthy existence. Its what i use to justify to myself concerning my absence back home in Sydney for my kids.
The ability to say over skype or the phone "I miss you, I love you" to my wife and children means the world to me, and to them. They no the score as well as I do, everyday here I am fighting for my life, that the nature of the metastatic journey as it is for me.
The one differentiating factor in my journey, is I clearly see success at the end of the road, when so many of my dearest friends have had hope stolen by the negative influences around them. These medicines can work very well, for many. Do some digging on ECT, its all over china, it works.
The price of survival, is I must travel. I am grateful that my results in Germany have been successful so far, dealing with the challenges of china, I will lead to others to tell on there blogs.
Whether the time i have invested away from my wife and kids is a waste time will tell. Given the cost in terms of time and money. I have no regrets in my heart, this is the only chance I have at life, I have not had any firm curative offerings on the table in Sydney for 3 years. Thats actually been a relief, as its allowed me to wander Germany seeking my miracle. As it turns out to survive each recurrence requires another miracle. So I keep on asking God for my miracles, and for miracles for all my friends who are all in desperate need of clinical improvement.
I am as focused and positive as ever, but I realised some home truths today that I wanted to share.
Maybe its the depressing surroundings or the financial pressures.
I have said often that these therapies are not for the faint of heart. I stand by that more than ever. When these therapies are readily available in well run, fairly priced clinics. Well that is where you will find me. Until I do my best and that all any of us can do. IPT today was easy I slept through most of it. Starting glucose was 95, it dropped to 39, and rose back to 95 over three hours. My biology operaed like clockwork. Spare a prayer for all my conventional friends using full strength xeloda daily, building up multidrug resistance and squandering whats a life extending therapy option. The results of 7 days ipt xeloda, dca, b17 with oncothermia will be interesting to see.
This morning I saw the most magnificnet white cherry blossom tree in the rising sun as I was driving to Dr Siebenhueners. I almost crashed trying to take a photo for the blog. That moment makes all the other challenges of the day appear insignificant. I will meditate in my dingy, isolated apartment aware that I am healing, that with every breathe I am a miracle. When I exhale I have a little smile, and I am thanking my lord for all that he has given me.
What I have is enough and I am grateful for!
I also had the deep realisation that I am alive, that I will survive, every cell in my body resonnates with that truth. I also know because I have such conviction in that truth that my brain will task my magnificent immune system with the ultimate challenge to find and recycle all the defective cells, the cancer cells. Like I have said before, we think, i need to walk, and we walk, a miracle in and of itself. Our brain has untapped potentials and I am hell bent to tap mine!
I will meditate after making my maf 314 probiotic yogurt, its an exciting night in a dingy corner of Frankfurt, amazingly every breathe is truly spectacular to me at least! I hope your Friday night is as good as mine. Solitude and reflection are underrated!
This experience gives the ever expanding wellness sector an entire new dimension, that in some senses makes sense. Its just it was not what I was expecting, and I dont think they are used to men just asking and leaving. I did not explain the side effects of cimetidine, the 2000 euro I paid for the last few IPTs at Dr Siebenhueners and that every cent is need for medical treatment. I did not explain my beautiful wife back in Sydney or the kids and that it would be very foolish to throw away 20 years of being a loyal and faithful husband in what maybe the closing stages of my life. You see I am accutely awere now that when the money runs out , most of the key medical services stop, and the tumour grows and I die.
The tragedy that these innovative services are not available in Sydney, or in a town near you is heart breaking. But thats the reality, and for what I can see these breakthoughs will never be coming, our medical systems are just too fixed in there ways. They are massive and unaccomodating. My success, these therapies, are just like a mosquito that a giant squashes without ever realising what he has done. In the slap that so promptly sent the mosquito into heaven, all the other mosquitos were condemed to the status quo, the standard of care. There fates fixed as if in concrete as the wheels of the system move slowly offering morphin and palliative care solutions to an ever increasing multitude/ The size of the multitude condeming our morally corrupt and bankupt healths systems to be forever judged for the abject failures that they are. Still the few hopeful fools, myself included, well we carry on believing in life and miracles and reform while my money lasts the dream continues.
So for love, for ethics and to save embassement its so easy to say a polite "no thanks" to this current invitation. I did not mention it previously, but it fits into to this aspect of ethics and healing. The other night I had a 1 hour thai massage. I had been there before in November. Well this absolutely stunning young thai lady, says "take off your underwhere ?" now this is very unusual i traditional thai massages from my experience. But I go with the flow. I get a reasonable relaxing thai massage, not the bone brunching, muscle stretching I need or enjoy. Nethertheless I was grateful for the stress release. Again towards the end of the massage she wishpers "would you like something extra ?" Now I politely say no thank you" , but my mind races to all the medical expenses coming up and the perilous nature of my existence. The extra I really needed was a 2 hour massage, not the 1 hour and a really genuine thai workout, not what I got.
My obsession with massage, I think was started by the stories of Ruth Galwer who explained how instrumental it was in Ian Gawlers recovery from cancer all those years ago. I have found massage to be so beneficial for my soul, it especially somehow meets the human need to be touched and cared for, none of the doctors will believe these factors essential for healing, but I do. I the worlds best immunotherapy clinic I will have daily TRADITIONAL THAI massage with no extras.
I am secretly so relieved that noone besides my dear departed Ren, Dave, Phil and Ted have been influenced by my blog. I can see the success I have enjoyed, no matter how fleeting in many senses is cruel. I dont have any stand out successes besides me, I am here alone in the peaceful solitude of this dingy ground floor apartment, next to the wellness center. Kind of trapped here because the internet is not working, so I cannot find alternative accomodation easily.
I really do apologise for the incompleteness of the blog, in the sense I present honestly the therapies, the costs and the experiences. My thoughts , my research. What I have I think withheld is the very real difficulties of daily life, of extending car hir, of finding accomodation, of arranging therapies, of by organic food, of even using the internet. Why today I have spent hours attempting to upload 500mb DVD archive of the last 3 visits to professor vogl. The images include MRI and CAT. Prof Rolle has requested these last Monday. I had to get them from Prof vogl, he was closed one time I tried. Every single step has been frustrating, the DVD would not load on my old computer. For some reason now it is. Just imagine that every single thing I attempt is full of constant small hurdles and challenges, from being asked for "exrtras" to trying to upload essential medical information on a computer thats not cooperating over an internet connection that my landlord turns of to save him money, that in some ways frustrates my chance at saving my life.
So I share these difficulties so that any RATs coming to germany, will know the true score. Like I attended the GCMAF clinic, relying on there written promised guarantee. I had no response and requested a refund and was basically told to piss of and die. thats how it left me feeling. I need those 3000 euros for therapies that work, that deliver measurable results. So then I have to dispute that payment and see how the banks sort out our dispute. But do you see, all the stresses. Every single day is full of challenging issues, living in Germany, that where the clinics are so helpful, but the cost such alot. In many sense they also deliver alot less, because you are a prisoner to there amazing but limited offerings.
So I have relief that I am struggling alone here in Germany, I am bouyed by the fact I have achieved what I class as miraculous results, I take so much pride in my healthy existence. Its what i use to justify to myself concerning my absence back home in Sydney for my kids.
The ability to say over skype or the phone "I miss you, I love you" to my wife and children means the world to me, and to them. They no the score as well as I do, everyday here I am fighting for my life, that the nature of the metastatic journey as it is for me.
The one differentiating factor in my journey, is I clearly see success at the end of the road, when so many of my dearest friends have had hope stolen by the negative influences around them. These medicines can work very well, for many. Do some digging on ECT, its all over china, it works.
The price of survival, is I must travel. I am grateful that my results in Germany have been successful so far, dealing with the challenges of china, I will lead to others to tell on there blogs.
Whether the time i have invested away from my wife and kids is a waste time will tell. Given the cost in terms of time and money. I have no regrets in my heart, this is the only chance I have at life, I have not had any firm curative offerings on the table in Sydney for 3 years. Thats actually been a relief, as its allowed me to wander Germany seeking my miracle. As it turns out to survive each recurrence requires another miracle. So I keep on asking God for my miracles, and for miracles for all my friends who are all in desperate need of clinical improvement.
I am as focused and positive as ever, but I realised some home truths today that I wanted to share.
Maybe its the depressing surroundings or the financial pressures.
I have said often that these therapies are not for the faint of heart. I stand by that more than ever. When these therapies are readily available in well run, fairly priced clinics. Well that is where you will find me. Until I do my best and that all any of us can do. IPT today was easy I slept through most of it. Starting glucose was 95, it dropped to 39, and rose back to 95 over three hours. My biology operaed like clockwork. Spare a prayer for all my conventional friends using full strength xeloda daily, building up multidrug resistance and squandering whats a life extending therapy option. The results of 7 days ipt xeloda, dca, b17 with oncothermia will be interesting to see.
This morning I saw the most magnificnet white cherry blossom tree in the rising sun as I was driving to Dr Siebenhueners. I almost crashed trying to take a photo for the blog. That moment makes all the other challenges of the day appear insignificant. I will meditate in my dingy, isolated apartment aware that I am healing, that with every breathe I am a miracle. When I exhale I have a little smile, and I am thanking my lord for all that he has given me.
What I have is enough and I am grateful for!
I also had the deep realisation that I am alive, that I will survive, every cell in my body resonnates with that truth. I also know because I have such conviction in that truth that my brain will task my magnificent immune system with the ultimate challenge to find and recycle all the defective cells, the cancer cells. Like I have said before, we think, i need to walk, and we walk, a miracle in and of itself. Our brain has untapped potentials and I am hell bent to tap mine!
I will meditate after making my maf 314 probiotic yogurt, its an exciting night in a dingy corner of Frankfurt, amazingly every breathe is truly spectacular to me at least! I hope your Friday night is as good as mine. Solitude and reflection are underrated!